"No Joke is a Good Joke"
by Lynleigh Love Meeko
    It was a cool morning and John Smith was getting ready for his big day
tomorrow, he was going to get married to Pocahontas!
    How this happened was when Pocahontas came back to Virginia with Rolfe,
she
discovered that he wasn't her path. Rolfe had decided to be with a young lady
by
the name of Serena instead of her. John Smith, uninvited, stopped by Jamestown
on his ship before he was going to head out to the far east. He soon
discovered that
Pocahontas wasn't with Rolfe and he quickly went to see her. That day John
proposed to Pocahontas before she could do anything else that could effect
their
relationship any further. They planned the wedding 2 weeks from that day, now
that day is almost here and John and Pocahontas are very excited! Finally they
will
be married and together at last! Nothing could stop them!
    Anyhow, back to the story, John woke up as usual, except John Rolfe was
coming
over to see if Smith's wedding suit was going to be all right. Smith and Rolfe
were
friends and Rolfe had the tailor make a special suit for John's wedding.
    Around noon, Rolfe knocked on the door and John let him in. John Rolfe had
a
big smile on his face and was caring a large package. He walked over to the
sofa
and laid down the sack.
"Hey Rolfe! How are you doing?" John asked with a giant grin on his face.
"Good afternoon, I'm well. I have brought your suit. We need to see if it fits
you.
You need to look nice for Pocahontas tomorrow." Rolfe nudged Smith in the
side.
Smith just smiled.
"Yes yes, of course. Now what do we have here?" John removed the material from
the sack and held it up.
"Those are your pants, and here is your shirt. There is also a vest, here it
is."
Rolfe showed him the outfit in it's entirety. Smith was pleased and had him
place
them back down.
"Before I start playing dress up, would you like some coffee? I brought it
here
from Spain. I stopped there before I came here." John poured a cup and showed
it
to Rolfe.
"Sure, thank you." Rolfe took the cup and had a sip. They stepped over to the
table and sat down.
"So John, tell me, you are getting married tomorrow. How do you feel?" Rolfe
placed his chin on his hand and looked closely at Smith.
"I'm getting married! How do you think I feel? No more bachelor life for me!
But
really, Pocahontas is the best thing that has ever happened to
me.......besides my
own boat, Rebecca." John laughed and put down his cup.
"Pocahontas is something, but she is certainly no boat!" Rolfe added and Smith
nodded. "Remember that story I told you? The one when Pocahontas ran into my
room in her underwear....."
"Oh yeah! That was great! Man, if I was there, I would sweep her up in my
arms.....hmmm Pocahontas." Smith began to amuse himself as he remembered the
story.
"Yes, that was funny.....but if that ever happens to me again, I think I would
have a
nervous break down....I need to be told these things if a girl is about to run
into my
room half naked! My pants were about to explode!" Rolfe began to laugh hard.
"Hey, Pocahontas is going to be my wife.....no more of you getting hot for
her!"
Smith seriously said with a giggle.
"all right, you can have her! She is your wild child now, you can worry about
her!"
Rolfe shouted. They looked at each other and began to laugh again.
    John got up from his chair and set down the empty cup in the sink. Then he
washed his hands. Rolfe sat at the table thinking to himself.
"Well, I better try on these clothes.....I'll be back in a minute." John said
looking
at the assortment and then glanced at Rolfe with an idea.
"Okay, I'll just sit here. Come out when your done so I can see." Rolfe
answered,
looking at a book.
"Okay....." John quietly giggled to himself as he went into his room.

    Minutes later, Smith shouted to Rolfe to come near the door so he could
see how
he looked.
"Rolfe! Come here, you have to see me." Smith yelled to him. Rolfe got up out
of his
chair and walked over to the door.
"Come out here so I can see you." He told Smith and, at his surprise, he did
see
Smith! In a high squeaky girlie voice, Smith answered.
"Oh John Rolfe! How do I look?" He came running out of his room towards Rolfe
in
nothing but his underwear! Smith did a little spin on the floor then placed
his hands
on his hips. With a slight turn, he added a shake with his tush.
"Johnny.....WooWoo." Smith added, smiling and winking to him.
"What are you doing! You are in your underwear!" Rolfe was shocked and not
pleased.
"Oh come on now!" Smith said, then he brought his hand to his face and swiped
it.
"John, it's called powder........arn't I beautiful?" Smith began to giggle
like a girl.
    Rolfe could contain himself any longer and began to laugh.
"You are crazy! What if someone sees you? You were made for Pocahontas! Both
of
you have an underwear problem!"
"Ah, come now.........I didn't know!" Smith smiled and put his arm around
Rolfe. In
his hand, Smith took out a stick of lip stick and put it on his lips.
"What are you doing?"
"Just looking pretty." John smiled and his bad lip stick applying skills
showed.
"Now give me a kissey........a nice big one on these big red smackers." John
got close
to Rolfe and he began to laugh to hard to contain himself.
"Oh go finish getting dressed!" Rolfe ordered and he slapped Smith's behind.
"Oww," John yelped. "Don't Poke my hontas!"

"JOHN!" Someone cried from the door. Pocahontas had opened the door and had
seen everything from the lip stick applying. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" She
screamed. Pocahontas almost fainted from the shock of seeing her Smith acting
like
this, and in his underwear! "Poke my hontas!?!?! How dare you! Rolfe! You told
him
about my underwear story! UGH!" Pocahontas' face turned red and she ran out of
the house.
"Pocahontas wait!" John shouted, running after her. Rolfe kept laughing and
had to
sit down on the sofa.
"Better go get her John."
"Ah!" John rushed outside. Pocahontas made it twenty feet down the street
before
John caught up to her.
"Pocahontas wait! It was a joke! Really! Please don't take it the wrong way!"
He
grabbed a hold of her arm and turned her around. Pocahontas stared at him with
angry eyes.
"A Joke?! A JOKE?! Poke My Hontas!?" She yelled in his face, angrily.
"Yeah, a joke. Come on Pocahontas, can't you take a joke?" John gave her a
sleazy
smile with his bright red lip sticky lips. Everyone who was outside, stopped
to
stare at Pocahontas, and John, who was in his underwear. They began to point
and
Pocahontas began to feel the heat swings of embarrassment. John was running
around in his underwear and they were going to get married tomorrow! What were
people to think of them?! She took her right hand and slapped John hard on the
cheek.
"You've ruined everything!" She yelled at him then ran out of Jamestown into
the
woods.
"Pocahontas!" John yelled, but he did not run after her. People on the street
began
to stare at him and he began to feel a little naked. John slipped back inside
of the
house where a laughing Rolfe was laid out on the sofa.
"What happened?" He giggled to Smith.
"Everything! I'll be lucky if Pocahontas says 'I Do' tomorrow at this rate!"
Smith
said upset. He touched his cheek which was still stinging from the slap. John
had
learned his lesson.
"Go tell her you're sorry. It was just a misunderstanding." Rolfe explained.
"She won't listen!"
"Well, you better tell her before tomorrow. Remember, the groom is not allowed
to
see the bride before the wedding."
"Oh shoot....."
    Then a man stepped into the house. He was a large man who was caring an
angry
face on his neck. He looked seriously at Smith, who was running around the
room
with his head chopped off and then he looked at Rolfe, who was about to blow a
gasket while on the sofa.
"What is going on here? Smith! Please explain this ludicrously." He demanded
from
Smith, who had suddenly grew still. John, remembering the lip stick, quickly
wiped
it away with the back of his hand.
"Ah Governor White, we were joking around and it got a little out of hand."
Smith
replied, glancing at Rolfe in-between words.
"Well, a mother and a daughter were about to have a fit down the street when
they
seen you run out half naked. Please explain that adventure...."
Rolfe stopped laughing and stood up for Smith.
"Well, he was playing a joke on me and Pocahontas happened to walk in at the
wrong
time. She got mad, left, and John ran after her. Therefore, running out
side..........but it's all a misunderstanding, believe me. NO INTENTIONS OF
EVER
DOING IT PURPOSELY, sir." Rolfe tried to be serious, but he began to crack up
again. John joined him.
"all right you two. You better give your apologies to the family who are
outside and
stop this lunatic behavior. You are grown men, and Smith, you are getting
married
tomorrow.....I highly recommend not doing this again." Governor White look at
them
both with seriousness, but he began to laugh as he left the house. John
swiftly put
on a robe and walked over to the door. He bided sorry to the lady and her
daughter then came back inside. Rolfe laid back down onto the sofa and stared
at
Smith.
"What in the heck just happened?" Rolfe asked, confused of the whole mess that
took place in a matter of 5 minutes.
"I dunno, but I'm in deep trouble, I know it." Smith felt stupid as he left
the room
to try on his suit. Pocahontas had never slapped him before and the new
experience
made him feel uneasy. He didn't like to know that she probably hated his guts
right
now and he wished he hadn't of played that joke.

*************
 
    That evening, John went over to Pocahontas' Village to see if he could
speak with
her. Once he got there, many of the villagers were staring at him. Nakoma came
out
of a hut and noticed John. She went over to talk to him.
"John." Nakoma said in a stern voice.
"Ah Nakoma. Where is Pocahontas? I need to speak with her."
"You may not see her."
"But why? I have to talk to her. It's important." John became desperate in his
voice.
"I'm sorry John, but she can't see you. You know the rules! The groom can't
see
the bride before the wedding." Nakoma reminded him.
"But that only goes for tomorrow, not today."
"Not here is doesn't." She looked at John hard.
"But.........." he pleaded.
"Please go. She will see you tomorrow after the wedding. An-nah!" Nakoma said,
turning around and walking back to her hut. John didn't know what to do. He
had to
see Pocahontas and tell her he was sorry. If he didn't, she could refuse him
tomorrow at the ceremony. He couldn't lose her again!
    As he walked towards to river, some kids ran up to him and stared to sing,
"We
saw you in your underwear.." John shooed them away as they giggled when they
ran
off. On the hard bankment, John sat down thinking of what to do. As he watched
the water splash against the stones, a little girl came up to him and tapped
his
shoulder.
"Oh no, not more singing. Please..." John said to her as he looked up. The
little girl
stood there looking at him and began to retrieve something out of her pouch.
She
pulled out a little fuzzy caterpillar and showed it to John.
"What...it? In eng-ly-sh.." She asked him, showing off her new learned English
skills.
"Oh honey, this is a caterpillar." John held out his hand to hers and she
placed the
little caterpillar in his palm. The girl slowly sat down infront of him,
anticipating
his answer and eager to learn more. John continued, looking at her, "This
caterpillar, when it grows up, will become a butterfly."
"What a but-ter-fi?" She asked. John pointed to a butterfly that was on a
nearby
leaf and she nodded.
"It will go and make a cocoon and stay inside of it for many days. Then when
it is
ready to come out, it will be a new bug, a bug with beautiful wings...a
butterfly."
John told her, smiling. She looked at him in excitement and leaned up against
his
bent leg. John handed her back the little fuzzy caterpillar and she stroked it
with
her pinkie. Then she looked back at John.
"What a cocoon?" She asked.
    As John explained the cocoon to her, Pocahontas happened to be watching
the
whole time from her hut. She heard the little girl talking to him and was
curious to
see what was happening. When she saw how kind and patient he was with the
little
girl, it reminded her of why she fell in love with him. Even though he was a
kidder
and liked to play jokes, like today, John was still the most sincere and
polite
person she had ever known. Pocahontas loved John and no matter what happened,
she would always be with him, even if it was a stupid prank.
    The little girl soon said good bye to John and gave him a little hug
around the
neck for his kindness. John said good bye to her and she ran off back to her
home.
Pocahontas quietly walked from her hut over to John. He didn't notice her
approaching and continued to stare at the river. Pocahontas sat down beside
him.
"Pocahontas!" John said, surprised.
"Hello John." Pocahontas said with a smile on her face. John quickly turned to
her
and placed his hands on hers.
"Pocahontas, please forgive me! I didn't mean for that to happen today. I'm
truly
sorry. If you don't want to marry me, I will understand. But please say you
will
still say 'I do' tomorrow!" John looked at her with pleading eyes. Pocahontas
didn't
know what to say, so she decided to play a trick, make him suffer for her
embarrassment. She swiftly hid her smile and looked down at him with a frown.
"Well, I don't know. I don't know if I'll except your apology. I am still very
upset
from what you did and how much embarrassment you caused me!" Pocahontas
seriously said, but she was laughing inside to see John's face.
"I know and I'm sorry! I won't ever do it again! Oh please Pocahontas." John
bent
over to her and held her hands tighter. Pocahontas pulled away her hands from
him
and stood up. John looked in surprise. 'This is it, she's not going to marry
me!'
John kept thinking.
"I don't except your apology...." Pocahontas said, crossing her arms. She DID
mean
this decision, but of course she was going to still marry him tomorrow. John
just
needed a good kick in the pants.
    John's heart sank. He couldn't believe it that she still didn't forgive
him, but
then he could believe it, as well.
"Go home John and think about what you have done. Tomorrow is our wedding.
Show
up if you think I will marry you because I will be there..............and I
might not."
"But Pocahontas......." John's voice was beginning to break up.
"I'm tired. I need to go........good night John." Pocahontas said and she
walked back
to her hut. John stood there, worried that Pocahontas might not want to marry
him.

*****************

    On the wedding day, John slept in. He kept thinking if he should go or
not. it
seemed very clear to him that Pocahontas didn't want to marry him, but what if
she
still wanted to......it was at a 30 percent chance that she would say 'I do'
over a 70
percent chance she might not. John gouged his head into the pillow wanting to
cry.
"Wake Up!" Rolfe barged into his room and pulled the blankets off his buddy's
body. "Come on no-more-single-guy! Time to get ready for your wedding!" Rolfe
shouted but John did not move.
"What wedding?! As far as I know, I will be single the rest of my life!" John
shouted through the pillow.
"Oh come on! Your just nervous about it. Now get up and get dressed.
Everything
will be fine." Rolfe said, taking out John's suit and laying it out on the
chair.
"Nothing is fine. I'm serious Rolfe. I talked to her yesterday. She didn't
except
my apology and said if I thought she was going to marry me still, that I
should come
to the wedding. Otherwise, don't waste my time!" John sat up and told Rolfe.
"What? I don't believe it. Pocahontas has been crazy about you ever since she
first met you 5 years ago. A stupid joke is not going to stop her from marring
you!"
"Well, she wasn't crazy about me yesterday.......I don't think I should go."
John
said, looking at the ground.
"What. Now you are the crazy one. Just forget about it and get dressed." Rolfe
demanded.
"No, leave me alone! I know what I saw! There is no way I'm going to go to a
wedding where someone doesn't want to marry me." Smith shouted at him. Rolfe
became angry.
"Fine then. It's your decision and your wedding. If you don't want to go, I
can't
stop you."
"Leave!" Smith shouted
"I will, good bye......" Rolfe said sternly and walked out of the room and out
of the
house, slamming th door. John stayed sitting at him bed and listened to Rolfe
walk
away. 'It's my decision and I have decided,' John said to himself. He laid
back
down on the bed and fell back to sleep.

**************

    It was almost noon and the wedding was just about to start in about 30
minutes.
Everyone was arriving and gathering around the ceremony area in the village.
Pocahontas was in her hut and Nakoma was helping her get dressed in her
leather
wedding gown. The gown was off white and once belonged to Pocahontas' mother
when she was married. On it were little shells hanging from threads of leather
and
they chimed when she walked. Pocahontas carefully slipped into it and placed
her
necklace on. Nakoma brushed her hair until is was soft and braided it into a
nice
heap on top of her head. Pocahontas looked lovely.
"John Smith came to see you yesterday....." Nakoma started.
"Oh?" Pocahontas listened.
"Yes, he wanted to talk to you about something important, but I told him to go
home and wait until after the wedding. He said it was urgent."
"I know. I talked to him..."
"What, but you know you weren't supposed to!" Nakoma said.
"Oh lighten up Nakoma, it was just for a couple minutes." Pocahontas told her.
"Well, what did he want......?"
"....nothing........." Pocahontas said, thinking about what she had said to
him was kind
of mean and cruel, but remembered he deserved it. "Is he hear yet, Nakoma?"
"I don't know..."
"Go look outside...." Pocahontas insisted and she nudged up against Nakoma
while
she looked out the door. "Do you see him?"
"No, sorry Pocahontas. He's not here yet."
"Oh." Pocahontas began to feel a strange sickness of worry come upon her.
Maybe
she was to hard on him yesterday.
"Seems to me he should be here by now. The ceremony is starting in 10
minutes."
Nakoma said, not thinking about that something might be wrong.
"Well, he will get here soon...I hope." Pocahontas said, trailing off.

    In the meantime, John was still at home. He finally got up 5 minutes ago
and
went to get a cup of coffee. Slowly he sat down at the table and sipped,
feeling
each amount of hot liquid go down. John could only think about the wedding and
nothing other. Even though he had made up his mind to not go, he could still
feel
something pulling him to it. For some reason, this decision was not the right
one and
he must go to the wedding. John closed his eyes and, before he knew it, he was
running into his room and quickly getting dressed in his suit.
"I can still make it!" John said, pulling on his pants and looking outside to
see what
time it was.
    Soon, John was fully dressed and ready to be wedded. He ran out the door
and
to the village.

    At the alter, Chief Powhatan made his way up and cleared his throat,
getting
ready to make a speech at the beginning of the ceremony. Pocahontas was all
dressed and ready, eagerly looking out side her hut's door watching for John.
The
longer he didn't show up, the more worried she felt inside. She wished so much
that
he was there right now and that she didn't play that little joke on him.
Pocahontas
closed the door and began to get teary eyed.
"He's still not here?" Nakoma asked concernedly.
"No, and I'm getting worried. What if he doesn't come?" Pocahontas told Nakoma
what happened and she understood what she was going through.
"I don't know......I don't know." Nakoma said, comforting Pocahontas. She sat
her
down on the bear mat as they waited for the wedding to start.

*****************

    Back in the forest, John was breathing hard as he ran from Jamestown to
the
village. Finally he made it to the river and could see the people gathered for
the
wedding. John began to feel nervous, knowing that all these people were hear
to
watch him get married.
    Chief Powhatan spotted John in the distance and decided to start his
speech.
While Powhatan talked, a sweaty and tired John, slowly approached the front.
John
Rolfe, who was his best man, was standing there and turned to his friend.
"So you decided to come after all? What took you so long?" Rolfe whispered in
John's ear.
"Um.......zipper trouble." John replied. He took out a hanky from his pocket
and
wiped his brow of the droplets and then his neck. Neatening his vest, John
stood up
straight and poised his head up high to Powhatan, who happened to be watching.
Chief Powhatan finished his speech about love and unity and came down from the
alter. Soon Keketa came up, did a small spiritual motion for the gods with his
feather, and then began to sing the Indian marriage song. John could feel his
hands
trembling with nervousness as he waited for Pocahontas to arrive. He could not
help
to think that she might not come. His stomach began to turn and he tried to
swallow,
but nothing went down or came back up. Paralization began to set in and he
could
not think nor breath.

    Alone in the hut, Pocahontas heard Keketa start to sing and she knew it
was her
Que. to come out. The little shells chimed as she walked out the door and to
the
path towards the alter. Pocahontas' head was down for she thought John hadn't
arrived yet, but when she reached the front and saw John's back, her heart
leaped!
John did come! He still cared!
    John turned around to the sound of the shells tapping and jumped to see
Pocahontas. She did love him! Now all he had to hear was 'I do' and they would
be
set. Pocahontas gave John a little smile and John grinned. He was so happy!
    Keketa stopped singing and waved the feather around them. John tenderly
took
Pocahontas' hands in his and pulled her closer. Nothing around seemed to
matter
anymore and the only thing John could see was Pocahontas. Keketa cleared his
throat to John.
"A heem? Have you heard anything I've said my boy?" Keketa asked, staring at
John.
"Oh, ah...yes! Yes." John said quickly, still locked on Pocahontas. Pocahontas
began
to giggle and turned her head to Keketa.
"Ok, now do you John, promise take Pocahontas, to love and honor her, to
always be
with her until the end of the moon, as your cherished wife?" Keketa asked,
looking
at John. John looked at Pocahontas and squeezed her hands tighter.
"I do."
"And do you Pocahontas, promise to take John Smith, to love and honor him, to
always be with him until the end of the moon, as your charirished husband?"
Keketa
asked. John's heart began to pound hard as Pocahontas looked into John's eyes,
for
this was the moment of truth.
"I do."
"From the mother spirit to the god of the white man, I now pronounce you
husband
and wife. Go ahead you two!"
    Pocahontas moved closer to John and he lowered his head to hers, then they
kissed. The whole village began to scream and cry to see the two lovers
finally
embrace as one. John felt so proud to have Pocahontas as his wife and promised
himself he would never play a joke on anyone ever again!

                                   The End
 

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